507 private links
Being a mom is a joy. But there's also PLENTY to laugh at, and that's what these mom memes are for.
So Constable built the fence and consulted with his neighbor, artist Hanif Panni, to paint a photorealistic mural of his ship on the fence that would visually look like the boat. //
Jenn Cheng @THATJennCheng
·
Replying to @nettermike
A beautiful example of malicious compliance. This guy seems like someone we'd get along with!
4:02 PM · May 10, 2024
The Bricklayer: Trying To Do The Job Alone
Dear Sir:
I am writing in response to your request for additional information for my insurance claim. In block number three of the accident claim form I wrote, “trying to do the job alone” as the cause of my accident. You said in your letter that I should explain that statement more fully. I trust the following details will be sufficient.
I am a bricklayer by trade. On the date of the accident, I was working alone on the roof of a new six-story building. When I completed my work I discovered that I had about 500 pounds of brick left over. Rather than carrying the bricks down by hand, I decided to lower them in a barrel by using a pulley which was attached to the side of the building at the sixth-floor level.
Securing the rope at ground level, I went up to the roof, swung the barrel out, and loaded the bricks into it. Then I went back to the ground and untied the rope, holding it tightly to insure a slow descent of the 500 pounds of bricks. You will note in block number 22 of the claim form that my weight is 150 pounds.
Due to my surprise at being jerked off the ground so suddenly, I lost my presence of mind and forgot to let go of the rope. Needless to say, I proceeded up the side of the building at a very rapid rate of speed.
In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel coming down. This explains my fractured skull and collarbone. Slowed only slightly, I continued my rapid ascent, not stopping until the fingers of my right hand were two knuckles deep into the pulley.
By this time, I had regained my presence of mind and was able to hold tightly to the rope in spite of my pain. At approximately the same time however, the barrel of bricks hit the ground and the bottom fell out of the barrel. Devoid of the weight of the bricks, the barrel then weighed approximately 50 pounds.
I refer you again to the information in block number 11 regarding my weight. As you might imagine, I began a rapid descent down the side of the building. In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel coming up. This accounts for the two fractured ankles and the lacerations of my legs and lower body.
This second encounter with the barrel slowed me enough to lessen my injuries when I fell onto the pile of bricks, and fortunately, only three vertebrae were cracked.
I am sorry to report, however, that as I lay there on the bricks in pain, unable to stand, and watching the empty barrel six stories above me, I again lost my presence of mind, and let go of the rope. The empty barrel weighed more than the rope so it came down upon me and broke both of my legs.
I hope I have furnished information sufficient to explain why “trying to do the job alone” was the stated cause of the accident.
Sincerely,
A Bricklayer
(Author Unknown)
The Bricklayer: Trying To Do The Job Alone
Dear Sir:
I am writing in response to your request for additional information for my insurance claim. In block number three of the accident claim form I wrote, “trying to do the job alone” as the cause of my accident. You said in your letter that I should explain that statement more fully. I trust the following details will be sufficient.
In Germany everything that is not allowed is forbidden.
In England everything is allowed that is not forbidden.
In France everything is allowed, even if it is forbidden.
While in North Korea it is said that "everything that is not forbidden is compulsory"
and in Russia everything is forbidden, even if it is allowed.
If something's illegal in Australia, you do it to find out why.
In America, everything is allowed if it makes a profit
I'm addicted to brake fluid, but I can stop whenever I want
he top ten reasons Eternal Damnation is better than Windows Software Development
Chris A
an hour ago
Stop feeding your leftover curry to the camels.
mopani Chris A
a minute ago
That wouldn't be a problem if the camel drivers didn't smoke
Min Headroom llme
an hour ago
Achmeed the bomb maker: “so when you are close to the infidels push the button on your paradise vest…”
Kaleed the martyr: “you mean like this?…..”
American Deplorable ™ Min Headroom llme
8 hours ago
These kids, they blow up so fast.
Evil AuditorSilver badge
Reply Icon
Thumb Up
Re: Needless!!
jmch: I would have thought...
Exactly, you would have thought. And hence you wouldn't have moved the rack in the first place.
2 months
John Sager
Reply Icon
Re: Needless!!
Yes, another example of Chesterton's Fence.
2 months
BebuSilver badge
Reply Icon
Big Brother
Re: Needless!!
《Yes, another example of Chesterton's Fence.》
Or in Terry Pratchett's canine latin of Discworld
"Si non confectus, non reficiat" - family motto of the Vetinari.
《standardized perfection》
Any useful standard ought to be prefaced with the Patrician's motto.
When you think about the essential (and insane) concept of perfection anything, process or system etc once it obtains perfection must necessarily be unique to the particular instance which I would think is the antithesis of standard(ized.)
Standardization is formalizing the art of the possible not aspiration to perfection. Engineering v Theology. :)
Antoine St Exupery probably had the most sensible approach to perfection:
"Il semble que la perfection soit atteinte non quand il n'y a plus rien à ajouter, mais quand il n'y a plus rien à retrancher." -Terre des Hommes, 1939.
Here, in the extreme, perfection would be the complete absence of anything - the (philosophical) void (sans vacuum fluctuations.) He was more practically claiming a minimalist approach to design would be more likely to lead in the direction of perfection.
What follows is arguably the most famous single sequence in any Goon Show. The show is The Mysterious Punch-up-the-Conker (series 7, episode 18). About 25 minutes in the show, Bluebottle and Eccles are "in the ground floor attic" of a clock repairers. After listening to lots of timepieces ticking, chiming, cuckooing etc. for a while...
Bluebottle What time is it Eccles?
Eccles Err, just a minute. I, I've got it written down 'ere on a piece of paper. A nice man wrote the time down for me this morning.
So Shaw took the precautions available to him.
"When we got on orbit, I went down to the hatch on the side of the orbiter, and I padlocked the hatch control so that you could not open the hatch," Shaw said. "I mean, on the orbiter on orbit you can go down there and you just flip this little thing and you crank that handle once, the hatch opens and all the air goes out and everybody goes out with it, just like that. And I thought to myself, 'Jeez, I don’t know this guy very well. He might flip out or something.' So I padlocked the hatch shut right after we got on orbit, and I didn’t take the padlock off until we were in de-orbit prep." //
After the Space Shuttle Challenger accident in 1986, the focus of the Shuttle program shifted somewhat, and NASA started flying fewer payload specialists. Those who flew came to be considered more a part of the crew and were met with less suspicion. According to some Space Shuttle astronauts, the lock was used less and less often. The final payload specialist to fly on the Shuttle was Ilan Ramon, the first Israeli astronaut. He died, of course, in the Space Shuttle Columbia disaster in 2003, when the vehicle broke up in the atmosphere during its return to Earth.
Although much of the concern for Shuttle commanders had come from flying non-professional astronauts, there was another incident later in the program with an all-professional crew that revived interest in the padlock program. It occurred during a 1999 flight. Because I have not been able to confirm the details with multiple sources, I won't name the astronaut or the mission. But essentially, a multiple-time flier had a bad reaction to some medicine he took after the launch. This seriously affected his mental state, and the astronaut had to be physically restrained from taking drastic action, including opening the hatch. //
This all may seem like a bit of historical trivia, but the issue lives on today. The Space Shuttle has been retired for 13 years, but the padlock remains in the fabric of US spaceflight with Crew Dragon. A commander's lock is an option for NASA's crews flying to the International Space Station on Crew Dragon, as well as private missions. //
That such incidents don't happen more often in commercial aviation may give us some comfort, but in reality, there have been many attempts by passengers to open an emergency exit door in flight. (Fortunately, it's almost impossible at cruising altitudes). And given that it has happened with two people out of the approximately 650 who have gone to space, it suggests the odds are non-negligible.
Nield concluded his note to me with a request. "Let me know," he said, "if you have any thoughts on how to mitigate the risks."
I wish I did. //
jeremyp66 Ars Scholae Palatinae 7y 811
YetAnotherBoris said:
The solution is obvious in this age of AI: automate all hatches, and put a computer exclusively in charge of activating them. The computer will be in turn controlled by a totally stable and reliable AI, with which the crew can communicate via voice interface.Bonus points if it's called HAL...
The Hatch AI Lock
The precursor to the Internet carried its first login request on October 29, 1969. //
On October 29, 1969, at 10:30pm Pacific Time, the first two letters were transmitted over ARPANET. And then it crashed. About an hour later, after some debugging, the first actual remote connection between two computers was established over what would someday evolve into the modern Internet.
Funded by the Advanced Research Projects Agency (the predecessor of DARPA), ARPANET was built to explore technologies related to building a military command-and-control network that could survive a nuclear attack. But as Charles Herzfeld, the ARPA director who would oversee most of the initial work to build ARPANET put it:
The ARPANET was not started to create a Command and Control System that would survive a nuclear attack, as many now claim. To build such a system was, clearly, a major military need, but it was not ARPA's mission to do this; in fact, we would have been severely criticized had we tried. Rather, the ARPANET came out of our frustration that there were only a limited number of large, powerful research computers in the country, and that many research investigators, who should have access to them, were geographically separated from them. //
The first letters transmitted, sent from UCLA to Stanford by UCLA student programmer Charley Kline, were "l" and "o." On the second attempt, the full message text, login, went through from the Sigma 7 to the 940. So, the first three characters ever transmitted over the precursor to the Internet were L, O, and L. //
When it was shut down, Vinton Cerf, one of the fathers of the modern Internet, wrote a poem in ARPANET's honor:
It was the first, and being first, was best,
but now we lay it down to ever rest.
Now pause with me a moment, shed some tears.
For auld lang syne, for love, for years and years
of faithful service, duty done, I weep.
Lay down thy packet, now, O friend, and sleep.
LordP666 said:
I think everyone is vastly overthinking AI.
In my opinion all we need are smart individual devices with built in AI.
Take a smart lamp - all it needs to know is it's name, it must recognize your voice, and what it must do:
Lampy McLampface, Level 2
That's it! If a thief breaks in he can suck eggs because he can't turn on a lamp or anything else. He can steal the lamp, but again...eggs, because Lampy will miss his owner and never turn on for anyone else.
How about a car? A thief gets in the car and he says Fordy McFordface "Start", and Fordy says "screw you thief, you are not the boss of me" and starts honking his horn while locking the doors.
Smart devices need to be more like very loyal dogs. ///
Best a/i comment ever
Pay me or I'll tell everyone you were foolish enough to buy an internet connected broom.
In case you don’t know, we here at The Post call our front pages “the wood.” Back when the newspaper was typeset, metal letters weren’t large enough to handle the job of a big opening headline, so those letters were carved on wood blocks, then used to stamp the ink on the page.
The wood is a collaborative process. //
Last week, we picked the 24 woods that exemplified 2023.
From the gas-stove ban pursued by Gov. Hochul (SHE’S DE-RANGED) to Biden’s hoarding of classified documents next to his car (ANYBODY VETTE THIS GUY?) to the academic who held a machete to the neck of one of our reporters (THE NUTTY PROFESSOR).
We asked you to pick the 25th — and you came through.
You suggested the soap opera of George Santos (GEORGE JETTISON) and Hunter Biden (MR. GRIFT GOES TO WASHINGTON) and the government finally admitting COVID likely came from a Chinese government lab (IT HAD TO BE WU).
Doreen H. picked BIDEN RESIGNS, which we looked for and never found — but thanks for reading, Doreen. Maybe you’re getting hopeful for 2024. //
Many picked Donald Trump’s mugshot, which ran on the front page August 25 without a headline, perhaps the only time in our history that has happened. And so it became what readers wanted it to be. //
So: The results. The second runner up is SURRENDER, from Dec. 20, a picture of a lone Border Patrol officer facing down hundreds of migrants at the border — a crisis that continues into the new year.
The first runner up is New York’s Jamaal Bowman pulling the fire alarm to try to delay a vote in the House. DOES THIS LOOK LIKE A DOOR HANDLE? we said of his ridiculous excuses. //
And speaking of Democrat politicians behaving badly, the winner you picked for the 25th front page of 2023 by a wide margin is . . . HAUTE MESS.
Post reporter Jon Levine dressed as Senator John Fetterman, in long shorts and a sweatshirt, and tried to get into New York’s exclusive restaurants and clubs. Hey, if it’s good enough for the Senate, is it good enough for the Ritz?
Tax his land, tax his wage,
Tax his bed in which he lays.
Tax his tractor, tax his mule,
Teach him taxes is the rule.
Tax his cow, tax his goat,
Tax his pants, tax his coat.
Tax his ties, tax his shirts,
Tax his work, tax his dirt.
Tax his chew, tax his smoke,
Teach him taxes are no joke.
Tax his car, tax his grass,
Tax the roads he must pass.
Tax his food, tax his drink,
Tax him if he tries to think.
Tax his sodas, tax his beers,
If he cries, tax his tears.
Tax his bills, tax his gas,
Tax his notes, tax his cash.
Tax him good and let him know
That after taxes, he has no dough.
If he hollers, tax him more,
Tax him until he’s good and sore.
Tax his coffin, tax his grave,
Tax the sod in which he lays.
Put these words upon his tomb,
“Taxes drove me to my doom!”
And when he’s gone, we won’t relax,
We’ll still be after the inheritance tax.
Bomb Defusal Manual, Version 1
Find out more about the game "Keep Talking and Nobody Explodes" by Steel Crate Games® at https://www.keeptalkinggame.com
There are only two hard things in Computer Science: cache invalidation and naming things. -- Phil Karlton
Long a favorite saying of mine, one for which I couldn't find a satisfactory URL.
Like many good phrases, it's had a host of riffs on it. A couple of them I feel are worth adding to the page
Leon Bambrick @secretGeek
·
There are 2 hard problems in computer science: cache invalidation, naming things, and off-by-1 errors.
9:20 AM · Jan 1, 2010
Mathias Verraes @mathiasverraes
·
There are only two hard problems in distributed systems: 2. Exactly-once delivery 1. Guaranteed order of messages 2. Exactly-once delivery
2:40 PM · Aug 14, 2015
Released On: 24 Dec 1959
Charles Dickens' Christmas tale takes a bashing from Spike Milligan, Peter Sellers and Harry Secombe.