488 private links
Nice silver lining, I do hope the contractor received his just rewards for that.
110Reply
14 days
dmesg
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Re: Rather different
My brother was an F-16 and B-1 engine mechanic back in the day. His shop had a large, perfectly smooth and level titanium table used for alignment and calibration. It also had a raised border guard all around it.
Flash back to the 60s and 70s, when as kids we had a game called Battling Top (https://nostalgiacentral.com/pop-culture/toys-games/battling-tops/). Great fun, we played it often.
Flash forward to my brother's shop. Yep. He introduced his fellow mechanics to the game, only this time played on a titanium surface by people with metal-shop equipment at their disposal. Lunch and break times saw fierce competition. All manner of designs evolved -- one top carried, via bearings, a non spinning frame with arms that would drop magnets when the top was jostled, hoping to destabilize competitors (nice idea but it didn't win).
IT angle: one day someone brought in a platter assembly from a disk pack. For the youngsters here, these were several metal platters about a foot in diameter, stacked several inches (or higher) on a heavy metal spindle. This particular assembly had a spindle that, at bottom, came down to a precisely machined cone with a sharp point. Quite literally, this thing was made to spin.
The guy spun it up with an air compressor.
Seconds later, everyone in the shop dove for cover as the other tops began making contact -- and ricocheting off equipment on the way to embedding themselves in the walls.
No one dared touch the assembly until it stopped spinning on its own. The point on the spindle was now nicely rounded.
They declared the fellow the Ultimate and Eternal Lord of Battling Tops and never played again.
https://nostalgiacentral.com/pop-culture/toys-games/battling-tops/
You're never going to keep me out //
So I'm swapping the M and N keys on all the Beancounter keyboards in the early morning when I notice that the Head Beancounter's top drawer is locked. A quick check reveals that his second in command also has a locked top drawer. This is rather unusual as several years ago the PFY and I snapped keys off in their locks to prevent this happening. It's unlikely they had the keys removed as we had the foresight to smear the keys in epoxy resin before inserting them...
"What do you mean by routing flapping?"
"Well, say you're catching the tube home to Slough."
"I don't live in Slough."
"Don't you? Well let's say you do. So your plan is to walk to Tottenham Court Road and ride the Central line to Ealing Broadway, change to Elizabeth Line and ride that to Slough."
"I.."
"But on the way up Oxford Street you encounter a group of Vegan Crossfit enthusiasts who are in a piano accordion ensemble. After consulting the internet and not being able to find a local gun shop you're going to avoid the hippies and maybe leg it to Farringdon where you can ride the Elizabeth line direct. On the way there you encounter an old school mate who convinces you to have a quiet pint, which turns into eight quiet pints, a curry and another pint - at which point you find yourself, inexplicably, at Snaresbrook with a road cone under your arm. And it's late. You jump on a central line train not caring WHERE you're going to change at, so long as you're heading in the general direction of Slough."
"I don't live in Slough."
"Yeah, but say you did – and you need to get home. You're back on the Central line, you rest your eyes for a second and wake up at West Ruislip. You quickly consult the tube map and think maybe you could stumble to Ickenham and ride the Picadilly to maybe North Ealing and maybe run to Ealing Broadway and maybe get on the Elizabeth line. You manage to get to Ickenham, rest your eyes and wake up in Cockfosters and find the tube is no longer running. You try and find an Uber driver, but for some reason there isn't anyone remotely local so you walk for an hour and eventually find a minicab company that's still open who take you on a sightseeing tour of unfamiliar roads, dropping you halfway home because that's when your cash runs out. You see a night bus, only you're a bit turned around and get on the wrong one, rest your eyes for a moment, then wake up at St Paul's Cathedral at 4 in the morning. You walk to work, sneak past security and sleep in your office."
"And... that's what's happening to our network?"
"No, that's what happened to the PFY three nights ago."
"What's this got to do with the network? Do we need new network switches with better routing to stop this happening? Is that what you're saying?"
Mornington Crescent?
I'm surprised that while visiting all those stations, the PFY never arrived at Mornington Crescent.
KorevSilver badge
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FAIL
Re: Mornington Crescent?
Well, that's clearly not allowed under the Ealing Broadway South Swap rules, had we been playing the North Swap then you'd have been fine
Chloe CresswellSilver badge
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Re: Mornington Crescent?
If we'd been playing with the North Swap rules though, you would have been in nidd for at least 2 moves.
Barry S
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Facepalm
Re: Mornington Crescent?
At least he didn't get stuck at Dollis Hill.
Bugger. //
Ol'Peculier
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Re: Mornington Crescent?
And at this point... we've lost the Yanks!
eldel
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Re: Mornington Crescent?
My dear (chap/lady/being of unspecified type) we lost them all the way back at Mornington Crescent //
Dave314159ggggdffsddsSilver badge
"So your plan is to walk to Tottenham Court Road and ride the Central line to Ealing Broadway, change to Elizabeth Line and ride that to Slough.""
This is one of the more subtle digs at the boss's intelligence. For non-London-based readers, it should be pointed out that the Elizabeth Line also calls at Tottenham Court Road and takes about 15 mins less to get to Ealing Broadway than the Central Line... //
Tom 38
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Headmaster
This is utter pedantry however:
your plan is to walk to Tottenham Court Road and ride the Central line to Ealing Broadway, change to Elizabeth Line and ride that to Slough."
[..]
"But on the way up Oxford Street you encounter [...] you're going to avoid the hippies and maybe leg it to Farringdon where you can ride the Elizabeth line direct.
If you're on Oxford Street and walking towards TCR, you're walking East. To get to Farringdon from Oxford Street, you go down Oxford Street, New Oxford Street, High Holborn and then Farringdon. So you cannot go to Farringdon and avoid the hippies without diverting off Oxford Street, and if you're doing that, you might as well go to TCR.
Besides which, you're on Oxford Street walking to TCR, and blocked by hippies so you walk to Farringdon? When Oxford Circus or Bond Street is .. right there.
...
Or just a major road. From my house I can get to a nearby location by turning right and then left, in about 3 minutes. Google notoriously would send you to the left for a half mile or so, and right again, and along the slip road onto the three lane ring road, along to the next rather slow and busy exit, bring you off and turn right (roughly a 12 minute, one mile journey) which brings you to a point less than quarter of a mile from where I left home.
Firstly this didn't happen to me. I was with the person when they received a phone call about this issue. Then he explained it all to me. He's not on Reddit so I'm sharing it. It's priceless.
All names changed to protect personal and company identities
Listed buildings - Important to the story. In the UK there is a system for preserving ancient and important buildings. If a building has historical importance it is known as a "Listed building" and the rules about how it's developed/maintained/improved are VERY strict.
The Associated Press @AP
Biden at 81: Sharp and focused but sometimes confused and forgetful https://apnews.com/article/biden-age-election-debate-trump-7c366fda83a697265d9ecc77e8a32fd1?utm_campaign=TrueAnthem&utm_medium=AP&utm_source=Twitter
12:32 AM · Jul 4, 2024
Charles West @CharlemagneWest
·
Replying to @AP
AP in 2024: accurate and fair but sometimes partisan and shoddy.
8:43 PM · Jul 3, 2024
KJSpeed
2 hours ago
Baghdad Bob bowed his head because he knew that he'd been beat
and he laid his fork-ed tongue at the ground by AP's feet.
George Strait @GeorgeStrait
·
Take us back to Texas! George set an amazing record at #KyleField this Saturday with 110,905 fans—the biggest single ticketed concert in U.S. history! What was your favorite part of the show?
@alivecoverage / Courtesy of Messina Touring Group
1:16 PM · Jun 17, 2024 //
James Woods @RealJamesWoods
·
The largest ticketed concert in U.S. history. No fights, no shootings, no burning police cars. Just 110,000 civilized fans celebrating a great American talent. What a concept! Thank you, Texas!!! 🇺🇸#GeorgeStrait
foxnews.com
George Strait breaks US concert attendance record in Texas
10:19 PM · Jun 16, 2024 //
A civilized concert for civilized people in a civilized place. //
Probable Cause
8 hours ago edited
A little Strait is a nice respite in the midst of Pride Month.
A lot of celebrities would have tried to give credence to the heckler when the proper response is ridicule and humor. Seinfeld delivered that in spades. //
heckling a professional comedian is rarely a good idea. You will get leveled. //
emptypockets
2 hours ago
Willfully ignorant but arrogantly self-important lackwits trying to get their own virtue signaling in while it's "the thing to do". Like the BLM was the "thing to do" a couple of years ago. They are not serious people or they would bother with facts. They don't so it's all just performance. //
Magnus
2 hours ago
Their purpose is not to solve the 80 years issue with Trans Jordanians and Jews, but to FEEL righteous in their vapid indignations. It's all about FEELINGS, you know.
Fibber McGee and Molly - 400305 (238) Cleaning Hall Closet (Gracie Allen)
Originally broadcast Tuesday March 5th, 1940
All right, but that radish, you might have been more careful with.
Quick, help!
There's funny little insects all over me.
Brush 'em off, quick.
Oh, calm yourself, calm yourself.
them are my trout flies. [laughter] Doggone it, Molly, why did you have to go and mess up?
[knocking] Oh, dear, come in.
Pepper McGee and Molly?
Yes.
Tell me, with all these radio shows being changed, is it true that you're going to cut your program down to a half hour?
What do you mean, cut it down?
It's only a half hour now.
What?
Boy, it sure seems like an hour. [laughter] Well, as the guy says, when he fell off of the horse and heard something bust, that sounded to me like a rib. [laughter] Well, never mind that now.
We're going to go through that pile of whatnots and throw everything out we don't need.
Oh, yeah?
Well, I've been through this stuff a hundred times and there ain't a thing of it that I can spare.
Oh, there isn't?
No.
What's this old rusty horseshoe for?
Well, I found that in 19-aught-11. [laughter] As soon as I find three more, we can pitch horseshoes in the backyard. [laughter] I see, you expect to find three more, huh?
You betcha.
You don't think the automobile is here to stay, eh?
[laughter] Won't be if we don't catch up with the payments. [laughter]
Well, McGee, I've about exhausted my impatience with you.
Why?
Packing all this useless junk back in that closet.
How about these old books?
Let's see them.
Oh, them.
Well, that's my correspondence course in taxidermy.
Taxidermy.
Why on earth did you want to study taxidermy?
Well, how did I know it meant stuffing birds in animals?
And there I was, stuck with a chauffeur's license, a city map, and a pair of puttees.
Well, hurry up and put your playthings back in the closet.
Okay.
Looks terrible laying around here on the floor with it.
I'll get it. [phone ringing] Hello?
No, this is the McGee residence.
You got the wrong number.
Oh, is that you, Mert?
Oh.
He gadd every week the same thing.
Apologies to skinny Ennis.
How's every little thing, Mert?
What say?
Your Uncle Gulliver.
Oh, that's too bad, Mert.
Oh, my.
And they ain't found the body yet, eh?
Oh, heavenly days, McGee.
What happened?
Mert's uncle drove his car off a cliff and had to walk home.
They found the chassis up in a tree, but they don't know where the body is.
What say, Mert?
Oh, that's okay, Mert.
Everybody has the wrong number now and then, except Irving Berlin.
Well, now, let's see.
McGee, why are you saving this long stick of bamboo?
Why, Molly, that's got a very definite purpose.
If I was offered a job as sparring partner for Joe Lewis, that's the 10-foot pole I wouldn't touch it with.
Being a mom is a joy. But there's also PLENTY to laugh at, and that's what these mom memes are for.
So Constable built the fence and consulted with his neighbor, artist Hanif Panni, to paint a photorealistic mural of his ship on the fence that would visually look like the boat. //
Jenn Cheng @THATJennCheng
·
Replying to @nettermike
A beautiful example of malicious compliance. This guy seems like someone we'd get along with!
4:02 PM · May 10, 2024
The Bricklayer: Trying To Do The Job Alone
Dear Sir:
I am writing in response to your request for additional information for my insurance claim. In block number three of the accident claim form I wrote, “trying to do the job alone” as the cause of my accident. You said in your letter that I should explain that statement more fully. I trust the following details will be sufficient.
I am a bricklayer by trade. On the date of the accident, I was working alone on the roof of a new six-story building. When I completed my work I discovered that I had about 500 pounds of brick left over. Rather than carrying the bricks down by hand, I decided to lower them in a barrel by using a pulley which was attached to the side of the building at the sixth-floor level.
Securing the rope at ground level, I went up to the roof, swung the barrel out, and loaded the bricks into it. Then I went back to the ground and untied the rope, holding it tightly to insure a slow descent of the 500 pounds of bricks. You will note in block number 22 of the claim form that my weight is 150 pounds.
Due to my surprise at being jerked off the ground so suddenly, I lost my presence of mind and forgot to let go of the rope. Needless to say, I proceeded up the side of the building at a very rapid rate of speed.
In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel coming down. This explains my fractured skull and collarbone. Slowed only slightly, I continued my rapid ascent, not stopping until the fingers of my right hand were two knuckles deep into the pulley.
By this time, I had regained my presence of mind and was able to hold tightly to the rope in spite of my pain. At approximately the same time however, the barrel of bricks hit the ground and the bottom fell out of the barrel. Devoid of the weight of the bricks, the barrel then weighed approximately 50 pounds.
I refer you again to the information in block number 11 regarding my weight. As you might imagine, I began a rapid descent down the side of the building. In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel coming up. This accounts for the two fractured ankles and the lacerations of my legs and lower body.
This second encounter with the barrel slowed me enough to lessen my injuries when I fell onto the pile of bricks, and fortunately, only three vertebrae were cracked.
I am sorry to report, however, that as I lay there on the bricks in pain, unable to stand, and watching the empty barrel six stories above me, I again lost my presence of mind, and let go of the rope. The empty barrel weighed more than the rope so it came down upon me and broke both of my legs.
I hope I have furnished information sufficient to explain why “trying to do the job alone” was the stated cause of the accident.
Sincerely,
A Bricklayer
(Author Unknown)
The Bricklayer: Trying To Do The Job Alone
Dear Sir:
I am writing in response to your request for additional information for my insurance claim. In block number three of the accident claim form I wrote, “trying to do the job alone” as the cause of my accident. You said in your letter that I should explain that statement more fully. I trust the following details will be sufficient.
In Germany everything that is not allowed is forbidden.
In England everything is allowed that is not forbidden.
In France everything is allowed, even if it is forbidden.
While in North Korea it is said that "everything that is not forbidden is compulsory"
and in Russia everything is forbidden, even if it is allowed.
If something's illegal in Australia, you do it to find out why.
In America, everything is allowed if it makes a profit
I'm addicted to brake fluid, but I can stop whenever I want
he top ten reasons Eternal Damnation is better than Windows Software Development
Chris A
an hour ago
Stop feeding your leftover curry to the camels.
mopani Chris A
a minute ago
That wouldn't be a problem if the camel drivers didn't smoke
Min Headroom llme
an hour ago
Achmeed the bomb maker: “so when you are close to the infidels push the button on your paradise vest…”
Kaleed the martyr: “you mean like this?…..”
American Deplorable ™ Min Headroom llme
8 hours ago
These kids, they blow up so fast.
Evil AuditorSilver badge
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Re: Needless!!
jmch: I would have thought...
Exactly, you would have thought. And hence you wouldn't have moved the rack in the first place.
2 months
John Sager
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Re: Needless!!
Yes, another example of Chesterton's Fence.
2 months
BebuSilver badge
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Big Brother
Re: Needless!!
《Yes, another example of Chesterton's Fence.》
Or in Terry Pratchett's canine latin of Discworld
"Si non confectus, non reficiat" - family motto of the Vetinari.
《standardized perfection》
Any useful standard ought to be prefaced with the Patrician's motto.
When you think about the essential (and insane) concept of perfection anything, process or system etc once it obtains perfection must necessarily be unique to the particular instance which I would think is the antithesis of standard(ized.)
Standardization is formalizing the art of the possible not aspiration to perfection. Engineering v Theology. :)
Antoine St Exupery probably had the most sensible approach to perfection:
"Il semble que la perfection soit atteinte non quand il n'y a plus rien à ajouter, mais quand il n'y a plus rien à retrancher." -Terre des Hommes, 1939.
Here, in the extreme, perfection would be the complete absence of anything - the (philosophical) void (sans vacuum fluctuations.) He was more practically claiming a minimalist approach to design would be more likely to lead in the direction of perfection.
What follows is arguably the most famous single sequence in any Goon Show. The show is The Mysterious Punch-up-the-Conker (series 7, episode 18). About 25 minutes in the show, Bluebottle and Eccles are "in the ground floor attic" of a clock repairers. After listening to lots of timepieces ticking, chiming, cuckooing etc. for a while...
Bluebottle What time is it Eccles?
Eccles Err, just a minute. I, I've got it written down 'ere on a piece of paper. A nice man wrote the time down for me this morning.