"i am a peoples who wants to make money from binary foxes"

This is pure comedy gold. //

That Ken is giving "Grant" the FBI's phone number to call is almost as funny as the FBI having reviews on Yelp.

WASHINGTON (Reuters) - When Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas broke his nearly seven-year silence during oral arguments last week, there was much speculation about what exactly he said. Just four cryptic words appeared in the court's unofficial transcript.
Now it can be told: It was nine words and apparently a joke.

Weminuche45
an hour ago
"Why Are Betting Odds So Telling?"

The odds are set with the intent of having an equal amount of money bet on both options. As money comes in, if more money in bets are placed on one side, the odds are adjusted to even it out. Why? Bec if even money is bet on both sides of all bets, the casino always wins, via the juice/fees. So the odds are set by what people are betting, not a prediction by the casino of what will happen.

People bet on things for all sorts of reasons, usually emotional reasons, and almost always lose money over the long term. Casinos operate pragmatically and flow with whatever the betters are betting and win over the long term regardless, without any need to make accurate predictions or know something other people don't.

It is an interesting datapoint though. We'll see... //

Lugger66 Robert A Hahn
2 hours ago edited
True but what I wanna know is why Trump is dropping like a rock in poly market. Literally at the pace it’s changing it’s gonna be inverted in 24 to 48 hours. //

Robert A Hahn Lugger66
5 minutes ago
In the space of one hundred and seventy-six years the Lower Mississippi has shortened itself two hundred and forty-two miles. That is an average of a trifle over one mile and a third per year. Therefore, any calm person, who is not blind or idiotic, can see that in the Old Oolitic Silurian Period, just a million years ago next November, the Lower Mississippi River was upwards of one million three hundred thousand miles long, and stuck out over the Gulf of Mexico like a fishing-rod. And by the same token any person can see that seven hundred and forty-two years from now the lower Mississippi will be only a mile and three-quarters long. . . . There is something fascinating about science. One gets such wholesale returns of conjecture out of such a trifling investment of fact.

-- Mark Twain, Life on the Mississippi

What is the greatest political ad of all time? It is the below. Ok, sure, it's a spoof of political ads, but it’s also a pallet cleanser. This ad is by fake candidate “Gil Fulbright.” It's old — but timeless. It’s a product of Frank Riley. If you don’t find this funny – sorry we can’t be friends.

The 20 most-commented-on tech support columns from On Call's first 500 instalments

Welcome once again to On Call, The Register's weekly column in which we recount readers' reactions to the drudgery of digital duties. This week, meet a reader we'll Regomize as "John Smith" who once worked for a very large bank. No doubt you've never met anyone with such an unusual name.

MAGA War Room @MAGAIncWarRoom
·
TRUMP: "Do you know what I am doing next week? I AM GOING TO A MCDONALDS TO WORK!" Show more

9:59 PM · Oct 11, 2024 //

Kristen Holmes @KristenhCNN
·
Former President Donald Trump is expected to visit a McDonald’s Sunday in Pennsylvania and “work the fry cooker”, a source familiar with the matter tells CNN. This comes up as Trump has repeatedly claimed Vice President Kamala Harris never actually worked at McDonald’s.
5:31 PM · Oct 15, 2024 //

Monica Crowley @MonicaCrowley
·
President Trump is going to work the fryer at McDonald’s for 10 minutes this weekend, which will be 10 minutes more than Kamala has ever worked there.

The most epic troll of all time 🐐
7:57 PM · Oct 15, 2024

An annual event involving dirt, beer and cash once again drew dozens of eager competitors to a ski resort in Maine on Saturday.

More than 30 couples competed in the North American Wife Carrying Championship, a 278-yard (254-meter) race during which contestants splash through water, leap over logs and trudge through mud — all while carrying their partner like a sack of potatoes.

Gorilla annoys sibling during a heavy rain shower.

Anonymous Coward

Don't put it in your pocket

Are we now going to discover that Hezbollah bought a batch of calculators from Brazil some months ago?

Ian JohnstonSilver badge

Re: Don't put it in your pocket

If they did, it's a bad move which might easily blow up in their faces.

Yet Another Anonymous cowardSilver badge

Re: Scientific Calculator

Scientific calculators use a body of tested and published algorithms to determine the answer.

Non-scientific calculators believe what they read in the Daily Mail and what someones sister's best-friends hairdresser's partner saw on Facebook

Andy NonSilver badge

Re: Scientific calculator:

1+2x3=7

Daily Mail calculator:

1+2x3=9

MAD ISSUE #148

Nice silver lining, I do hope the contractor received his just rewards for that.

110Reply
14 days
dmesg
Reply Icon
Re: Rather different
My brother was an F-16 and B-1 engine mechanic back in the day. His shop had a large, perfectly smooth and level titanium table used for alignment and calibration. It also had a raised border guard all around it.

Flash back to the 60s and 70s, when as kids we had a game called Battling Top (https://nostalgiacentral.com/pop-culture/toys-games/battling-tops/). Great fun, we played it often.

Flash forward to my brother's shop. Yep. He introduced his fellow mechanics to the game, only this time played on a titanium surface by people with metal-shop equipment at their disposal. Lunch and break times saw fierce competition. All manner of designs evolved -- one top carried, via bearings, a non spinning frame with arms that would drop magnets when the top was jostled, hoping to destabilize competitors (nice idea but it didn't win).

IT angle: one day someone brought in a platter assembly from a disk pack. For the youngsters here, these were several metal platters about a foot in diameter, stacked several inches (or higher) on a heavy metal spindle. This particular assembly had a spindle that, at bottom, came down to a precisely machined cone with a sharp point. Quite literally, this thing was made to spin.

The guy spun it up with an air compressor.

Seconds later, everyone in the shop dove for cover as the other tops began making contact -- and ricocheting off equipment on the way to embedding themselves in the walls.

No one dared touch the assembly until it stopped spinning on its own. The point on the spindle was now nicely rounded.

They declared the fellow the Ultimate and Eternal Lord of Battling Tops and never played again.

https://nostalgiacentral.com/pop-culture/toys-games/battling-tops/

You're never going to keep me out //

So I'm swapping the M and N keys on all the Beancounter keyboards in the early morning when I notice that the Head Beancounter's top drawer is locked. A quick check reveals that his second in command also has a locked top drawer. This is rather unusual as several years ago the PFY and I snapped keys off in their locks to prevent this happening. It's unlikely they had the keys removed as we had the foresight to smear the keys in epoxy resin before inserting them...

"What do you mean by routing flapping?"

"Well, say you're catching the tube home to Slough."

"I don't live in Slough."

"Don't you? Well let's say you do. So your plan is to walk to Tottenham Court Road and ride the Central line to Ealing Broadway, change to Elizabeth Line and ride that to Slough."

"I.."

"But on the way up Oxford Street you encounter a group of Vegan Crossfit enthusiasts who are in a piano accordion ensemble. After consulting the internet and not being able to find a local gun shop you're going to avoid the hippies and maybe leg it to Farringdon where you can ride the Elizabeth line direct. On the way there you encounter an old school mate who convinces you to have a quiet pint, which turns into eight quiet pints, a curry and another pint - at which point you find yourself, inexplicably, at Snaresbrook with a road cone under your arm. And it's late. You jump on a central line train not caring WHERE you're going to change at, so long as you're heading in the general direction of Slough."

"I don't live in Slough."

"Yeah, but say you did – and you need to get home. You're back on the Central line, you rest your eyes for a second and wake up at West Ruislip. You quickly consult the tube map and think maybe you could stumble to Ickenham and ride the Picadilly to maybe North Ealing and maybe run to Ealing Broadway and maybe get on the Elizabeth line. You manage to get to Ickenham, rest your eyes and wake up in Cockfosters and find the tube is no longer running. You try and find an Uber driver, but for some reason there isn't anyone remotely local so you walk for an hour and eventually find a minicab company that's still open who take you on a sightseeing tour of unfamiliar roads, dropping you halfway home because that's when your cash runs out. You see a night bus, only you're a bit turned around and get on the wrong one, rest your eyes for a moment, then wake up at St Paul's Cathedral at 4 in the morning. You walk to work, sneak past security and sleep in your office."

"And... that's what's happening to our network?"

"No, that's what happened to the PFY three nights ago."

"What's this got to do with the network? Do we need new network switches with better routing to stop this happening? Is that what you're saying?"

Mornington Crescent?
I'm surprised that while visiting all those stations, the PFY never arrived at Mornington Crescent.

KorevSilver badge
Reply Icon
FAIL
Re: Mornington Crescent?
Well, that's clearly not allowed under the Ealing Broadway South Swap rules, had we been playing the North Swap then you'd have been fine

Chloe CresswellSilver badge
Reply Icon
Re: Mornington Crescent?
If we'd been playing with the North Swap rules though, you would have been in nidd for at least 2 moves.

Barry S
Reply Icon
Facepalm
Re: Mornington Crescent?
At least he didn't get stuck at Dollis Hill.

Bugger. //

Ol'Peculier
Reply Icon
Re: Mornington Crescent?
And at this point... we've lost the Yanks!

eldel
Reply Icon
Re: Mornington Crescent?
My dear (chap/lady/being of unspecified type) we lost them all the way back at Mornington Crescent //

Dave314159ggggdffsddsSilver badge
"So your plan is to walk to Tottenham Court Road and ride the Central line to Ealing Broadway, change to Elizabeth Line and ride that to Slough.""

This is one of the more subtle digs at the boss's intelligence. For non-London-based readers, it should be pointed out that the Elizabeth Line also calls at Tottenham Court Road and takes about 15 mins less to get to Ealing Broadway than the Central Line... //

Tom 38
Reply Icon
Headmaster
This is utter pedantry however:

your plan is to walk to Tottenham Court Road and ride the Central line to Ealing Broadway, change to Elizabeth Line and ride that to Slough."

[..]

"But on the way up Oxford Street you encounter [...] you're going to avoid the hippies and maybe leg it to Farringdon where you can ride the Elizabeth line direct.

If you're on Oxford Street and walking towards TCR, you're walking East. To get to Farringdon from Oxford Street, you go down Oxford Street, New Oxford Street, High Holborn and then Farringdon. So you cannot go to Farringdon and avoid the hippies without diverting off Oxford Street, and if you're doing that, you might as well go to TCR.

Besides which, you're on Oxford Street walking to TCR, and blocked by hippies so you walk to Farringdon? When Oxford Circus or Bond Street is .. right there.
...

Or just a major road. From my house I can get to a nearby location by turning right and then left, in about 3 minutes. Google notoriously would send you to the left for a half mile or so, and right again, and along the slip road onto the three lane ring road, along to the next rather slow and busy exit, bring you off and turn right (roughly a 12 minute, one mile journey) which brings you to a point less than quarter of a mile from where I left home.

Firstly this didn't happen to me. I was with the person when they received a phone call about this issue. Then he explained it all to me. He's not on Reddit so I'm sharing it. It's priceless.

All names changed to protect personal and company identities

Listed buildings - Important to the story. In the UK there is a system for preserving ancient and important buildings. If a building has historical importance it is known as a "Listed building" and the rules about how it's developed/maintained/improved are VERY strict.

The Associated Press @AP
Biden at 81: Sharp and focused but sometimes confused and forgetful https://apnews.com/article/biden-age-election-debate-trump-7c366fda83a697265d9ecc77e8a32fd1?utm_campaign=TrueAnthem&utm_medium=AP&utm_source=Twitter
12:32 AM · Jul 4, 2024

Charles West @CharlemagneWest
·
Replying to @AP
AP in 2024: accurate and fair but sometimes partisan and shoddy.
8:43 PM · Jul 3, 2024

KJSpeed
2 hours ago
Baghdad Bob bowed his head because he knew that he'd been beat
and he laid his fork-ed tongue at the ground by AP's feet.

George Strait @GeorgeStrait
·
Take us back to Texas! George set an amazing record at #KyleField this Saturday with 110,905 fans—the biggest single ticketed concert in U.S. history! What was your favorite part of the show?

@alivecoverage / Courtesy of Messina Touring Group
1:16 PM · Jun 17, 2024 //

James Woods @RealJamesWoods
·
The largest ticketed concert in U.S. history. No fights, no shootings, no burning police cars. Just 110,000 civilized fans celebrating a great American talent. What a concept! Thank you, Texas!!! 🇺🇸#GeorgeStrait
foxnews.com
George Strait breaks US concert attendance record in Texas
10:19 PM · Jun 16, 2024 //

A civilized concert for civilized people in a civilized place. //

Probable Cause
8 hours ago edited
A little Strait is a nice respite in the midst of Pride Month.

A lot of celebrities would have tried to give credence to the heckler when the proper response is ridicule and humor. Seinfeld delivered that in spades. //

heckling a professional comedian is rarely a good idea. You will get leveled. //

emptypockets
2 hours ago
Willfully ignorant but arrogantly self-important lackwits trying to get their own virtue signaling in while it's "the thing to do". Like the BLM was the "thing to do" a couple of years ago. They are not serious people or they would bother with facts. They don't so it's all just performance. //

Magnus
2 hours ago
Their purpose is not to solve the 80 years issue with Trans Jordanians and Jews, but to FEEL righteous in their vapid indignations. It's all about FEELINGS, you know.

Fibber McGee and Molly - 400305 (238) Cleaning Hall Closet (Gracie Allen)
Originally broadcast Tuesday March 5th, 1940

All right, but that radish, you might have been more careful with.

Quick, help!

There's funny little insects all over me.

Brush 'em off, quick.

Oh, calm yourself, calm yourself.

them are my trout flies. [laughter] Doggone it, Molly, why did you have to go and mess up?

[knocking] Oh, dear, come in.

Pepper McGee and Molly?

Yes.

Tell me, with all these radio shows being changed, is it true that you're going to cut your program down to a half hour?

What do you mean, cut it down?

It's only a half hour now.

What?

Boy, it sure seems like an hour. [laughter] Well, as the guy says, when he fell off of the horse and heard something bust, that sounded to me like a rib. [laughter] Well, never mind that now.

We're going to go through that pile of whatnots and throw everything out we don't need.

Oh, yeah?

Well, I've been through this stuff a hundred times and there ain't a thing of it that I can spare.

Oh, there isn't?

No.

What's this old rusty horseshoe for?

Well, I found that in 19-aught-11. [laughter] As soon as I find three more, we can pitch horseshoes in the backyard. [laughter] I see, you expect to find three more, huh?

You betcha.

You don't think the automobile is here to stay, eh?

[laughter] Won't be if we don't catch up with the payments. [laughter]

Well, McGee, I've about exhausted my impatience with you.

Why?

Packing all this useless junk back in that closet.

How about these old books?

Let's see them.

Oh, them.

Well, that's my correspondence course in taxidermy.

Taxidermy.

Why on earth did you want to study taxidermy?

Well, how did I know it meant stuffing birds in animals?

And there I was, stuck with a chauffeur's license, a city map, and a pair of puttees.

Well, hurry up and put your playthings back in the closet.

Okay.

Looks terrible laying around here on the floor with it.

I'll get it. [phone ringing] Hello?

No, this is the McGee residence.

You got the wrong number.

Oh, is that you, Mert?

Oh.

He gadd every week the same thing.

Apologies to skinny Ennis.

How's every little thing, Mert?

What say?

Your Uncle Gulliver.

Oh, that's too bad, Mert.

Oh, my.

And they ain't found the body yet, eh?

Oh, heavenly days, McGee.

What happened?

Mert's uncle drove his car off a cliff and had to walk home.

They found the chassis up in a tree, but they don't know where the body is.

What say, Mert?

Oh, that's okay, Mert.

Everybody has the wrong number now and then, except Irving Berlin.

Well, now, let's see.

McGee, why are you saving this long stick of bamboo?

Why, Molly, that's got a very definite purpose.

If I was offered a job as sparring partner for Joe Lewis, that's the 10-foot pole I wouldn't touch it with.