Fibber McGee and Molly - 400305 (238) Cleaning Hall Closet (Gracie Allen)
Originally broadcast Tuesday March 5th, 1940

All right, but that radish, you might have been more careful with.

Quick, help!

There's funny little insects all over me.

Brush 'em off, quick.

Oh, calm yourself, calm yourself.

them are my trout flies. [laughter] Doggone it, Molly, why did you have to go and mess up?

[knocking] Oh, dear, come in.

Pepper McGee and Molly?

Yes.

Tell me, with all these radio shows being changed, is it true that you're going to cut your program down to a half hour?

What do you mean, cut it down?

It's only a half hour now.

What?

Boy, it sure seems like an hour. [laughter] Well, as the guy says, when he fell off of the horse and heard something bust, that sounded to me like a rib. [laughter] Well, never mind that now.

We're going to go through that pile of whatnots and throw everything out we don't need.

Oh, yeah?

Well, I've been through this stuff a hundred times and there ain't a thing of it that I can spare.

Oh, there isn't?

No.

What's this old rusty horseshoe for?

Well, I found that in 19-aught-11. [laughter] As soon as I find three more, we can pitch horseshoes in the backyard. [laughter] I see, you expect to find three more, huh?

You betcha.

You don't think the automobile is here to stay, eh?

[laughter] Won't be if we don't catch up with the payments. [laughter]

Well, McGee, I've about exhausted my impatience with you.

Why?

Packing all this useless junk back in that closet.

How about these old books?

Let's see them.

Oh, them.

Well, that's my correspondence course in taxidermy.

Taxidermy.

Why on earth did you want to study taxidermy?

Well, how did I know it meant stuffing birds in animals?

And there I was, stuck with a chauffeur's license, a city map, and a pair of puttees.

Well, hurry up and put your playthings back in the closet.

Okay.

Looks terrible laying around here on the floor with it.

I'll get it. [phone ringing] Hello?

No, this is the McGee residence.

You got the wrong number.

Oh, is that you, Mert?

Oh.

He gadd every week the same thing.

Apologies to skinny Ennis.

How's every little thing, Mert?

What say?

Your Uncle Gulliver.

Oh, that's too bad, Mert.

Oh, my.

And they ain't found the body yet, eh?

Oh, heavenly days, McGee.

What happened?

Mert's uncle drove his car off a cliff and had to walk home.

They found the chassis up in a tree, but they don't know where the body is.

What say, Mert?

Oh, that's okay, Mert.

Everybody has the wrong number now and then, except Irving Berlin.

Well, now, let's see.

McGee, why are you saving this long stick of bamboo?

Why, Molly, that's got a very definite purpose.

If I was offered a job as sparring partner for Joe Lewis, that's the 10-foot pole I wouldn't touch it with.