Naturally, Melania Trump won the day—it’s a little like pitting Brett Favre against a middle school flag football team, but thems the rules—in her long navy silk-wool coat under a cream blouse designed by New York–based designer Adam Lippes, and that matching hat by Eric Javits. How this woman was able to pull off a topper that not only obscured half of her face but looked so sharp it might be the understudy for a circular saw is a testimony to Slovenian bone structure and understanding one’s angles.

Not since Lincoln’s stovepipe has a hat been so well-worn in our nation’s capital. Though this one did a better job of protecting her from unwanted contact—including from her own husband. Melania finished off the look with black leather gloves and navy Manolo Blahnik pumps. Notes? None. The memes are already legion, including ones comparing the first lady to Carmen Sandiego. //

Meanwhile, Pennsylvania senator John Fetterman rolled up in a look that if he were anyone else, would have been grounds for censure. He was in gray athletic shorts, a black hoodie, and running shoes. At the presidential inauguration. But alas, Fetterman has fashion immunity, granted by the most high, to wear wherever the hell he wants.