The Federalist is here with a step-by-step guide on how to properly load a dishwasher and end your kitchen nightmares once and for all. //

Plates and bowls scattered across the wheeled racks at random. Silverware senselessly jammed into one or two of the many available basket pockets. The entire ensemble is so wretched that it resembles some trashy piece of modern abstract art.

But what’s a man to do? How is he supposed to get the woman in his life to stop loading the dishwasher like a cracked-out squirrel storing away nuts for the winter?