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The U.S. marriage rate is near its lowest point in history, but it’s even worse among black Americans.
The black marriage rate has collapsed by half, from a 1960 high of 61 percent to today’s low of 31 percent, the lowest for any demographic group in America.
Almost 70 percent of black children are born to unwed mothers. These fatherless black children are three to four times more likely to be poor than their counterparts raised by married black parents. The outlook is particularly bleak for young black men who are far more likely to become incarcerated and suspended from school. Over the last several decades, the problem has become generational: Fewer black men with good jobs leads to fewer marriageable men and, in turn, fewer black marriages.
But add a married biological father to the home and what happens? As Conn Carroll writes in his new book, Sex and the Citizen: How the Assault on Marriage is Destroying Democracy, “There is nothing wrong with black boys in America today that can’t be solved by more married black fathers.” //
In the aftermath of Reconstruction, for the first time in our nation’s history, blacks had the legal right to marry and stabilize their families. And they did in droves. From the late 1800s until about 1960, young black men and women were more likely to be married than young white couples.
But government programs came along that “effectively eviscerated the black family and made fatherhood absence the norm,” Jamil says. In turn, black mothers became dependent on a government check to sustain their “impoverished lifestyle.”. //
Earlier on, she’d been juggling two small children, a part-time job, and college classes. Even with her husband’s full-time job, the couple barely made ends meet. When she sought financial assistance, a college administrator told her help was only available if she ditched her husband. “My peers were on assistance and seemed to be making more money,” she says. So why be married?
Why indeed? But that was America’s prevailing cultural message to black mothers and fathers. These welfare “man in the house” exclusions supposedly ended with the U.S. Supreme Court’s decision in King v. Smith; however, the ruling only held that the state had too broadly defined father to include cohabitating men, whether or not they were the child’s father.
Two centenarians broke the Guinness World Record for longest marriage of a living couple, as reported by Jam Press and confirmed by LongeviQuest, a database on the life and times of the world’s oldest people.
Manoel Angelim Dino, 105, first met Maria de Sousa Dino, 101, while collecting sweets in Brazil in 1936. They remained acquaintances until they met again in 1940.
When the couple reunited, Manoel said he fell in love at first sight. He declared his sentiments to Maria, who felt the same. The couple has now been happily married for 84 years and 86 days.
The Obergefell ruling rode rough-shod over religions and dozens of state constitutions on the bases of a moral — not legal — opinion.
Cliff-Hanger
9 minutes ago
No matter how popular marriage is, it will always be the number one cause of divorce.
But this one woman has men figured out down to their core.
As TikTok user "Brennatalkstoomuch" says in her video, women need to understand that men love "quests." What does she mean by that? She explains that this might not apply to all men, but all the men she wants in her life love quests.
She notes, however, that men hate "puzzles," and she explains what she means.
"Most men don't want you to be coy, and confusing, and elusive," she says. "They want you to have very clear quests that you tell them 'this is exactly what I want, I want you to do this, and I will be happy when you do it.'" //
Brenna compared it to a video game, saying that she could offer him a hot cup of coffee the moment he gets in from the job, as this will trigger the reward centers in men's brains. He completes a quest, and she gives him resources for his trouble. "He's leveled up" Brenna says, "he's winning now!"
Brenna notes that when a man loves a woman, nothing makes him happier than making her happier by accomplishing quests.
She adds that women tend to minimize themselves in this regard out of a fear of being an inconvenience, but notes this isn't how men's brains work. It's not an inconvenience to make our women happy through completing tasks and requests. All a woman has to do in return is be appreciative and express thankfulness.
Her final tip to ladies is "don't say sorry," say "thank you." In other words, women tend to be apologetic for their belief they're being an inconvenience or complication, when in reality they're the reason he wants to quest in the first place.
A committed, mutually sacrificial marriage is far less scary than intentionally going through life alone for fear of narrowing your options. //
Entered with the right perspective, marriage matures you and enables you to grow alongside your spouse, being used for each other’s sanctification and recognizing your need for grace — rather than postponing marriage until you have everything “figured out,” only to realize you never will. It’s a weighty and holy covenant that should not be entered into lightly, but it’s also a covenant designed for imperfect, unfinished people. If you expect to be done maturing by the time you say, “I do,” your marriage won’t be a happy one.
A large percentage of Americans don’t know or outright disagree that marriage builds stronger families and is linked to better well-being for children, according to the annual American Family Survey. This is despite the fact that such benefits have been proven time and again. These attitudes may be due in part to nearly half of all U.S. children today spending at least part of their childhood in a non-intact family.
Overall, the majority of U.S. adults have a positive view of marriage, agreeing it has benefits for individuals and society. Still, a significant portion of respondents seem unclear about the value of marriage. For example, 54% of people didn’t agree that society is better off when more people are married, with 19% disagreeing and 35% being unsure. As to the questions about family stability, 48% didn’t agree that marriage is needed to create stronger families and 46% didn’t agree that marriage makes families and children better off financially.
Nick Freitas
My wife and I came from broken homes and married at 19/20. We were poor, in a profession with a divorce rate much higher than the national average, which forced us to live away from family, move often, and spend half of our first ten years married apart. We literally had people at our wedding betting on how quickly we’d get divorced, and now, 25 years later, we are happily married, have raised 3 kids, and are still in love. Here’s why.
Chapters:
00:00 - Intro
01:56 - #1 Shared Values
05:22 - #2 Shared Goals & Expectations
10:53 - #3 Shared Interests
13:42 - #4 Effective Communication
20:41 - #5 Attractiveness
@arrowb.8438
2 weeks ago
In terms of women venting to men, one thing I implemented in my relationships that has drastically improved communication is this. If they are upset and start venting, ask whether they want solutions, or companionship. That helps them to also get used to clarifying for me "Hey I need solutions" or "Hey I need to just talk". Super huge boost in my dating life.
‘In many ways, my life is what I always dreamed it would be, except for one glaring difference: I am not a mother. I wish I was.’ //
If most women knew they were sacrificing the freedom, provision, and safety of full-time mothering to be a gypped gas station attendant or “Office Space”-style paper-pusher, far more would choose full-time motherhood. To make it easier for themselves to reach the C-suite and the Oval Office, elite women sell their lower-class sisters glamorous false promises of “Boss Babe.” This is another reason we should reject feminism: it damages women. //
Another part of Cheng’s situation besides the lack of broad social networking opportunities is also now common to all women. It’s the no-win outcome of the Sexual Revolution: women must either have sex with men before marriage or the men can easily find other women who will.
The post-Pill expectation that women will make sex an infertile act obviously eliminates a major motivation for men to pop the question. If the men Cheng dated in her 20s and 30s couldn’t get sex aside from accepting the responsibilities of husbandry — which include fatherhood — I’d bet $10,000 she would have secured a man before her fertility window closed. //
Of course, men also get economic and familial security from marriage, as married men earn more, reach higher career zeniths, are happier, and live longer. But those benefits are less obvious and require a longer timeframe than the benefits women and children get from marriage, which usually begin accruing much earlier.
This is one major negative effect of America’s leaders deciding to kill Christianity as a social norm. It’s also another way in which people who participate in the life of a local church dramatically increase their chances of finding a spouse while they still are physically capable of procreation. Pastors, congregations, denominations, and Holy Scripture itself all stand behind women who say, “I’d love to have sex with you, but I can’t unless we’re married.”
Will America become a majority-childless society? A new Pew Research Center survey suggest that sadly may be the case. Such a direction would have alarming consequences for not just individuals but also for our nation.
When Pew asked Americans younger than 50 if they ever plan to have children, 47 percent—one-half of those polled—said “no.” That’s up 10 percent from just five years before. In fact, of those younger than 50, 57 percent said they never wanted to have children, even if they ended up doing so.
The reasons why? Pew writes: “Not having kids has made it easier for them to afford the things they want, have time for hobbies and interests, and save for the future.” But what kind of future are they saving for? It will quite likely be a lonely one. //
The Social Security Administration saw this coming in 2010, noting trouble ahead in its financial report because “birth rates dropped from three to two children per woman.” Previously, there had been a 4 or 5 to 1 ratio between workers paying into the system and retirees taking money out. That ratio has already dropped to almost two-to-one. With even fewer children in the future, the ratio will decrease further.
Boys date from the neck on down; men marry from the neck on up. True beauty is not based solely on physical attributes. A heart for God and a mind seeking knowledge, one sharpened by experience, are far more important. Remember that a long-term relationship is always a case of stepping out in faith. //
Neither love nor beauty have an expiration date, nor are they solely possessions of the young. Seek the One True Love first, regardless of your age.
When it comes to building a happy life, the secret is to play the long game. Being as intentional about your personal life as you are about your professional life when you’re young offers the best chance at being successful in all areas of life, not just your career.
Despite what the culture teaches, our twenties aren’t years to squander. “Eighty percent of life’s most defining moments take place by age thirty,” writes Meg Jay in The Defining Decade. //
All of this suffering was, and is, avoidable. There’s a completely different way for women to do life, and it begins with this premise: Whom you marry, and how that marriage fares, will have more effect on your happiness and well-being than anything else you do. Nothing else even comes close. //
It is never too late to shift your priorities and change your life. It simply begins with a mindset shift that’s rooted in 4 truths:
Whom you marry is the single greatest decision you’ll ever make.
Career success alone will not make you happy.
The biological differences between men and women are real, and they’re hardwired.
You can “have it all,” just not all at once.
The good news is, no matter where you are in life’s journey, you can embrace these truths and do a U-turn. When you do, you will have begun your journey toward building a better life.
If you haven't seen the trend going around on social media, women have been getting into the habit of putting their significant others through "relationship tests."
These "tests" usually involve ridiculous or arbitrary situations that are then captured on video and posted to sites like TikTok or Instagram. These tests include things like the "orange peel" test, where a woman will ask her beau if he can peel an orange for her. The test is supposed to indicate the health of a relationship through the man either refusing or accepting the task of peeling an orange for their lady. //
Moreover, this isn't just about a test. What this ends up is a forced subjugation of your boyfriend or husband's worth as a partner to the whims of the public. You're allowing others to tell him whether he is or isn't worth anything in place of you, his partner, //
Ultimately, however, this is more of a reflection of the person conducting the test as it shows their desire for attention, their willingness to betray their partner's privacy, and the invitation of the public into one's relationship without the knowledge of another. None of these things reflect well on the woman administering the test.
Let's hit the bottom line here, though.
At no point should anyone on the internet be allowed to pass judgment on the success or failure of a couple's marriage or relationship. The internet does not have everyone else's best interests in mind as a general rule, and most of what happens on the internet is ultimately self-serving.
Demographers and pundits have been blaring alarm bells about declining birth rates for decades, and that future is finally here. //
What used to be fodder for ’80s comedies about clueless single men or frigid career women is now the lived experience of the few children who escape the infertility-spreading medical establishment. These kids face an uphill battle: life with fewer friends, fewer siblings, and fewer child-friendly spaces. And that’s just the half of it: If current birth rate trends hold up, they might be facing the end of civilization as we know it. //
There, in the first blessing God speaks to the first man and the first woman — “be fruitful and multiply” — lies the answer to Berenson’s question of why so many wealthy, privileged couples worldwide are refusing to have children. It is not that humanity is losing faith in itself. It’s that we have faith only in ourselves.
As Dennis Prager puts it in his invaluable commentary on Genesis, secularism is the most important explanation for the modern world’s low birth rates. The poem “Epithalamion,” Edmund Spenser’s famous ode to his bride, ends with a fervent prayer that the Heavens bless their marriage, “that we may raise a large posterity” and increase the count of the blessed saints. //
The future, Steyn likes to say, belongs to those who show up. I do not know who, if anyone, will end up living in the lands our society increasingly has no children of our own to bequeath to. But I bet they’ll know how to change diapers.
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